Do Gay Men Get More Tattoos Than Straight Men?
In my private exercise as a psychotherapist who specializes in working with gay men, it was a surprise to me when several years into my practise I noticed a pattern that gay men like to talk about how the tattoos they have hold special, even profound meaning for them. When I first opened my private do in psychotherapy (and later added services in life/business coaching), I wouldn't have predicted that, but I learned things over fourth dimension nearly the feelings that so many guys share in common. Their tattoos get topics of conversation, peculiarly in summer months when guys are wearing short-sleeves, tank-tops, or shorts. They get-go talking well-nigh when they got them, and the emotional attachment they have to what feelings, experiences, and values their tattoos mean to them, and it becomes relevant to their therapy for whatever we are working on, such equally self-esteem, relationships, philosophical/existential "outlook" on life, and dreams/goals. I guess direct people and lesbians also have meaningful tattoos, but since my practice focuses on gay men's needs, I hear almost tattoos in that context.
It was that fashion for me. Subsequently my "turning 40" crisis, which I admit I had like and then many other guys, I lost some inhibitions about a lot of things, particularly my opinions. I got into counseling and therapy during the top of the AIDS crisis, because I wanted to speak up and assist out. Getting older helped me to do more than of that, because the people I care about deserve our attention and intervention. So I wanted a tattoo because I thought they looked hot but also for their meaning. At the time of the Iraq state of war, Bill Clinton said that nosotros need to focus on our similarities, rather than our differences. I thought about this, and designed a tattoo that combined the symbols of some of the major religions/cultures of the globe: a cross, a yin-yang, a Star of David, and the sun (for paganism). It concluded up looking also like a nautical star, that gives direction and guidance. My 2d one, a few years later, was of ii dragons that face each other, because my married man and I were both born in the Year of the Dragon (1964) in the Chinese zodiac. It as well has some tribal elements, and a Libra symbol in my favorite colour, blue. The dragons face each other in a mirror image considering that also represents "cocky-reflection", which is symbolic of what I practise as a therapist, to help people self-reflect on themselves and decide what changes in their thinking, outlook, and beliefs will brand their lives amend.
With clients, there have been similar stories nearly how their personal values have so been represented graphically in their tattoo design. Ane client described very eloquently how the black tribal symbol pattern made him feel at i with the HIV community afterwards his diagnosis, and information technology was role of his coping with that, that felt positive and encouraging. Some other client had various initials of people who were cardinal in his life. Another had a couple of symbols that reminded him of his own forcefulness, resilience, and triumph over an abusive past. Others have adopted the "toxic" symbol as manner of defying their HIV diagnosis, and signaling to others that they will not exist silenced in a stigma about HIV status. Others yet have symbols that support them in drug/alcohol recovery, that remind them to utilise their program and cognitive tools to cope with triggers or relapse hazard just by seeing the visual cue of their tatt on their torso.
When we talk about gay men in therapy, it has to exist in a sure culturally-affirmative context. Gay men actually tap into a lot of "masculine perspective" energy, whether it's how we approach work, our homes, money, health (especially fettle and muscularity), and of form sexuality. While we take a lot in mutual with straight men and that whole "men are from Mars, women are from Venus" matter, gay men put their own spin on traditionally masculine things like muscularity and tattoos (and cars, too). While tatts are not anybody's cup of tea, others accept said that a cool tattoo can make any guy sexier and bolder, in that he is asserting his personality visually with "the art of the torso". It'due south also sexy in that tattoos are only removable with keen difficulty, so it'south a commitment, and having the strength of your convictions to make a permanent commitment to a visually-expressed idea that has profound meaning for a person can be sexy in itself; information technology'due south the forcefulness of that commitment and standing up for what you believe in, which gay men need after a lifetime of growing upwards with anti-gay sentiment all around us in political rhetoric, laws, bullying, and other oppression.
Just the deed of getting a tattoo tin can be an empowering act of defiance, a triumph over incertitude or a diminished sense of self. Just like our dress, our hair, our facial hair, and other personal style expressions, the tattoo is more than profound considering we "clothing information technology" all the time, even at our most naked, our most vulnerable, as a symbol(due south) of the values in ourselves that nosotros find indelible. When gay men find ways like this that are fun and sexy and as well help underscore our sense of cocky-empowerment, we are not just living, we are thriving. Gotta love that!
Have y'all talked about your tattoos in therapy? Or have y'all openly "processed" your thoughts near getting i? Like I said, sometimes the right option is non to do it, but I've been so moved by the stories I hear from guys I piece of work with nearly the meaning and the self-validation they get from theirs, that I'one thousand impressed, inspired, and admiring of their cocky-reflection. This can but help them movement toward whatever their goals are in therapy.
(For more data on working in therapy or coaching with Ken Howard, LCSW & Associates at GayTherapyLA.com, call/text 310-339-5778 or email Ken@GayTherapyLA.com. Services available in role in Los Angeles, or via phone/webcam to anywhere in the United States, or the world.)
Source: https://gaytherapyla.com/gay-men-and-tattoos-ritual-and-meaning/
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